


Staying Safe in the Snow

by DJClawson



Series: Theodore Nelson's Adventures in Sharing a Workspace [13]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Avengers Sex-ceptions, Black Widow - Freeform, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/M, Frank Castle - Freeform, Hammer Industries, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Like a Ridiculous Amount of Weed, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, References to Porn, Thor - Freeform, Tony Stark should really let the world know that Spider-man is underage, Weed, so much weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 00:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17818535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJClawson/pseuds/DJClawson
Summary: Theo can't have a normal date night, Foggy remains solidly anti-drug, and we learn why spiders prefer temperate climates.





	Staying Safe in the Snow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CallToMuster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallToMuster/gifts), [Nell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nell/gifts).



> Thank you to LachesisMeg for her beta work!
> 
> Filling prompts:  
> \- Theo learns more about Matt's messed up childhood  
> \- Matt on weed
> 
> Honestly at this point, if there are more prompts that I have not filled (and didn't say I couldn't), please remind me in the comments. Or submit new prompts. I am still taking them.

Theo didn’t freak out immediately when his phone started blowing up. It was the noise for Whatsapp, and he was on a couple different channels that could suddenly get busy with crosstalk. He also had a line of customers freaking out about the storm coming and wanting to get their shopping done, and he was perpetually short-staffed, so he ignored his phone. If it was that important, someone would call him. It wasn’t until every customer was gone and the front was locked up that he opened the app to see the Nelson family channel with about forty new messages.

He figured it was his dad's fault. Pop told somebody he was gay, and someone told someone else, and that someone told his cousin, and now was the moment of truth, when he was outed by a family member on a freeware group messaging service. To the dozen or so people who asked him directly if it was true, he typed:

TheoNelson: Yes Im gay. Get your jokes out of your systems now please so we can move on.

Actually, there were a lot of congratulations, and a couple people who did not know claiming they did know and had known for years. And of course Uncle Tim said:

TimothyNelson: I always thought Foggy would be the gay one

Foggy was in court, so he wouldn’t be seeing the messages for some time, but in the meantime, a number of people were agreeing with Uncle Tim.

TheoNelson: Hey I thought it would be Foggy and I AM the gay one

BrettMahoney: He did go to theater camp

TheoNelson: Very professional, Officer

TheoNelson: Foggy’s gonna see this later

TimothyNelson: Plus he had that hair

EddieNelson: I want you to know I love and support both my sons no matter what haircuts they have

EddieNelson: Tim cut it out

TimothyNelson: Whatever I’m surprised you’re not too high to speak

EddieNelson: BRett you didn’t hear that

BrettMahoney: I never hear anything

And that was it. Things descended into their usual trash-talking and rumor spreading, but no one freaked out. Maybe his cousins weren’t all paragons of virtue, but this amount of ribbing he could take in stride.

AndyNelson: Theo can I call you gay 

TheoNelson: no

TheoNelson: but I can call you gay

AndyNelson: Oh is this like “my n-----”

TheoNelson: Yeah I think so, same basic rules.

This went on for a while, long enough for it to start snowing. He was halfway through a double shot of whiskey when he heard a banging on the front door. He got hit with a blast of wind as he let Matt, Foggy, and Karen in.

“Jesus! It’s really coming down fast!” Foggy said. He undid his scarf and looked at his phone. “Are you looking at Whatsapp? There’s like a million messages. Did someone die?”

“No, I got outed,” Theo said. “But it’s fine.”

“Even racist cousin Dave?”

“He’s racist, not homophobic, apparently,” Theo said.

“Congratulations,” Karen said. “I mean, I guess. If this is what you wanted.”

“It’s a load off my mind,” Theo admitted. He didn’t know what she knew about him and Matt. That was not something that came up in casual conversation.

Foggy was scrolling through his messages. “Hey, fuck you! Straight people go to theater camp!”

Matt, as usual, kept to himself and decided not to out Foggy’s nebulous bisexuality in front of Karen, who was busy hiding her laughter.

Outside was a mess. Foggy, Matt, and Karen were all wearing jackets that were getting wetter as the snow dried on them. Theo offered to make tea, but they all just wanted to get home. Karen lived on the Lower East Side, and could easily get back, but Foggy checked the train times and then Uber and looked horrified.

“Congestion pricing? There’s no one on the roads. How can there be congestion pricing?” He shook his head. “I gotta call Marci, see if she’s home yet.”

Foggy stepped into the backroom, and Karen said, “Um, I could offer him my place, but I only have one bed.”

“Like everyone in Manhattan,” Theo said. He also suspected, from a couple offhand comments, that Matt knew that Karen had a boyfriend or girlfriend and didn’t want anyone else to know. But that was just a hunch. “Go home before the buses get to off-schedule.”

“I’ll be in tomorrow.”

“Depending,” Matt said. “If court is closed, don’t bother.” He was technically her boss even though he never acted like it. Or, Theo wasn’t totally sure how things worked at the firm, with them as real partners and her as non-lawyer-with-a-name-on-the-nameplate. He didn’t ask.

Matt and Karen hugged, and she waved goodbye to Theo and braced herself against the cold before heading out. Wind was the real issue, reducing visibility as people shielded their eyes to get down the street.

“Marci said not to come home. She wants me to be safe. And it’s going to take forever and if there’s even a chance that court’s open tomorrow, I should be ready to go from here.” He looked about. “Karen left?”

“She said she only had one bed.”

“Is Karen seeing someone?” Apparently Foggy had the same suspicions. “Because she also has a couch. A little one, but bigger than Theo’s. I’ve crashed on it before.”

“Yes,” Matt said.

“Yes to having a couch or to her seeing someone?”

Matt gripped his cane with both hands and said, “Both.”

Theo kept his mouth shut; Foggy stepped towards Matt. “You know who it is.”

“I didn’t say that,” Matt replied. “She hasn’t told me and it’s none of my business. If I did know, it wouldn’t be right to share it.”

“Oooh, because you smelled him or something. Or her. Smelled her.” Foggy added, “Gross.”

“I didn’t say how I know,” Matt said with a frown. “Maybe I overheard something on the phone like a normal person. The point is, I don’t think you want to hang out at Karen’s tonight.”

Which left one option, really. Theo had been looking forward to this night since the weather report was finalized - a chance to keep Matt inside without a fight. To do whatever.

Sex with boyfriend or be a good brother.

Sex with boyfriend or be a good brother.

Sex with boyfriend or be a good brother.

Oh, who was he kidding. “Matt has a spare couch,” he offered, as if Foggy didn’t know that already.

“Yes,” Matt said, his opinion flowing with the conversation.

“Is it currently covered in blood?”

“No.”

“Was it _recently_ covered in blood?”

Matt sighed. “No.”

“Okay.” Foggy sounded skeptical. He looked over both of them. “Oh, am I interrupting your plans for the night?”

Yes. “Um, not really,” Theo said. “I was just going to make sure Matt got too high to try to go out tonight.” That had been part of the plan, anyway.

“Does that work?” Foggy asked. “Because if it does, I am 100% behind that situation. I will contribute funds to this solution to our problem of keeping Matt from scaling any buildings or jumping between rooftops or whatever else he does that is dangerous and I don’t want to imagine.”

“You can buy us snacks,” Matt said. He did not seem amused at being ganged up on about being Daredevil, but he was willing to roll with the punches.

“Are you sure I’m not imposing?” Foggy asked.

“It’s that or sleep in my apartment,” Theo said.

“No. Your cat hates me.”

“She doesn’t _hate_ you,” Theo said. “And I do have to go feed her, and then we can meet up at Matt’s.” Matt almost exclusively came to Theo’s place, so he kept nothing in Matt’s apartment that hadn’t been accidentally left there. Or was in the laundry bin. He really needed to keep better track of clothes he wore to meet with his handsome and sexy boyfriend.

It was settled, and Matt and Foggy went to pick up snacks and beer, and Theo ran home to feed Sadie and shove some clothes and assorted things in a bag. “Be good,” he told her before he shut the door behind him, as if she would ever listen to him even if she could understand him. That was a lost cause.

 

At Matt’s they ate the food Theo had cooked for dinner at the shop since he knew every takeout place would be slammed, and Foggy wrestled with the radiator valve in a futile attempt to turn it up. Theo and Foggy ended up on the couch, and Matt in one of the armchairs, passing the vaporizer back and forth between them. Foggy complained about the smell.

“There’s no smell,” Theo said, rolling his eyes. “It’s vapor.”

“There’s totally a smell.”

Matt found the middle ground. “It’s less of a smell.”

Foggy bought a scented candle from the bodega and lit it. It was red, and was just sort of ... cherry flavored, in the way that sodas were cherry flavored. “It was this or ‘clean linen.’ How do they make candles smell like towels? What chemicals go into that?”

“Everything is chemicals,” Matt said. He took a pretty long drag, longer than the ones Theo was taking.

“I haven’t seen you high since college,” Foggy said. “Doesn’t it mess with your senses?”

“Yeah but ... in a good way,” Matt explained as he leaned his head back so it was looking up. “It softens everything. Sounds, smells, tastes - I still get all of it, when I get past the weed itself, but it’s like - I don’t mind.” He shut his eyes. “There’s a baby crying on the second floor. He’s three months, maybe four? His mother hasn’t heard him yet. The baby monitor is on but she’s watching videos on Youtube with headphones on in the other room. Usually she’s very attentive. She’ll notice him when the video’s over.” He slumped further into the chair, putting his leg up on one of the armrests. “Normally I have ... I have all of these blocks in place. To focus. I can expand my senses and take it all in or I can roll them back as far as I can, which is what I have to do most of the time, to function like a person. Stick taught me how to do that.”

“Stick’s his Mr. Miyagi,” Foggy said to Theo. “Except I think it might have been a bit more fucked up.”

“Mmm.” Matt rubbed his face. “He saved me. I - I couldn’t handle any of it. He taught me to put up walls. When I’m tired, they come down. But with weed - it’s okay. Babies cry. It’s not a soothing noise, it’s not a funny noise, it’s just a noise. There’s lots of noises and that’s okay.” He curled himself up further in the chair, with the other leg now tucked under him. “When I was in St. Agnes, we had limited time with the TV and the computers. So when I got high I would focus in on the people across the street. They watched the Simpsons, and I would watch with them.”

Theo supposed that there was no difference to Matt if he was in the same room as the TV or not, as long as he could hear it fine.

“I got caught a lot,” Matt said. “But the Sisters never called the cops because they never actually found the weed. They knew I was high but they couldn’t find the source. And ... and maybe they weren’t looking. When I was high, I wasn’t angry. I was probably easier to deal with. I - I was a tough kid to have around. Especially once I wasn’t a _little_ kid anymore. I was taller than all of the nuns, and I fought other kids a lot. So maybe they thought ... ‘let’s go with weed.’”

Theo took another hit and passed it back to Matt, who was limp, but not limp enough to not make use of the vaporizer pen. He blew some of the smoke out of his nose intentionally.

“You think you’re a pro?” When Theo got the pen back, he inhaled, held it in his mouth rather than making sure it went deep in his lungs, and puffed out a messed up but pretty good smoke ring. No rings inside rings shit, but he had worked hard on it. “Foggy, tell Matt how good my smoke ring was.”

“I thought it was _vapor_ ,” Foggy replied.

“Fine, whatever, fuck, my vapor ring. It’s hard to do!”

“I believe you,” Matt said. His eyes were closed again.

“Matt, seriously, if I had known how much better it made you feel, I would have put up with the smell in the dorm,” Foggy said. “This is about your health. Your mental health, anyway. Except for the fact that this is actually dope and it is doing things to your brain.”

Matt shook his head. “Didn’t want to tell you.”

“I know you didn’t, but - I would have eased up on it. You were always so stressed.”

“I wanted good grades,” Matt said. “I got them. It’s all fine, Foggy. Everything’s fine.” He took a deep breath. “She heard her baby, by the way. She’s rocking him back to sleep.”

Matt looked like he could easily be rocked to sleep. Theo wanted to, but he held himself back. That and he didn’t feel like getting off the couch anytime soon himself.

“I was thinking,” Foggy said very hesitantly, and because he had a few drinks in home now, “about your mom, Matt.”

“You don’t know my mom.”

“I’ve met your mom.”

“Christmas doesn’t count. You basically just saw her.”

Foggy rolled his eyes. “Now, I’m not saying that abandoning you wasn’t a dick move, and not telling you who she was when your dad died wasn’t also a dick move. There’s a lot dick moves here for a nun. But ... she was a nun. She kinda belonged to the church. So maybe ... she figured, when your dad died, if she told them who you were to her, the priests would have said it would have been inappropriate for her to raise you, because, you know, nun stuff. You would have gone to a foster home. But if she stayed quiet, you would stay in the orphanage, and she could raise you. Because nobody knew.”

Matt took a moment to reply. “She didn’t treat me any differently than the other kids.”

“But if she had, people would have noticed. _You_ would have noticed. You would have started asking questions - and Lantom knew, right? So probably some other people knew that she was married and had a kid. So she decided, this is the best way to play it. I’m not saying it’s right, I definitely disagree with her decision, but that’s what she did. It’s what she thought she had to do to keep you.”

Matt was silent for a long time. Theo wasn’t sure if he had gone to sleep. Matt hadn’t run off, hadn’t shut the conversation down, but he didn’t look totally pleased with it. “I ... _suppose_ that could have happened.”

“Way to bring the room down,” Theo said.

“I never get to ask these things!” Foggy said. “Matt always flips out. Or literally flips away. I bet he could do some wacky unnecessary backflip he had to.”

“Could totally do that,” Matt said. “I need more weed.”

Theo obliged him, but he had to get up to hand over the pen because Matt didn’t look interested in making the effort. “If it keeps you off the streets.”

“He could just drink,” Foggy said. “Wow. I just gave the worst advice I’ve ever given. Matt, don’t do that. Of the three options of what you can do with your nights, marijuana is definitely the least worst. Just don’t show up to work stoned like Theo does.”

“ _Used to_ ,” Theo said. “That was high school.”

“Didn’t you get fired for smoking once?”

“Pop would never fire me. He just made me clean the bathroom over and over. I got fired from a different job for being stoned all the time.”

“You had a different job?”

“Remember, for like four months after college? I would come to dinner and I had like a tie on?”

“Oh yeah,” Foggy said. “And you had really short hair. Matt, his hair was ridiculously short.”

“I didn’t want to have to style it in the morning,” Theo explained. “If you work in an office, you can’t really go for the homeless wino look.”

Matt partially uncurled himself from the knot he’d made of his limbs. “Where did you work?”

“At Hammer Industries in Jersey City. The security guard was my dealer and after about a month I started getting so baked I’m surprised I turned any work in.”

“But they found out,” Foggy said.

“Oh, they knew. But like I said, I was turning in work. Then one day I get called to my middle manager asshole boss’s office, the type who supervises engineers but doesn’t know anything about engineering, and he said if I showed up stoned one more time he would fire me. This is the morning, so I swing by HR before lunch, ask them if Hammer pays into unemployment benefits, and they said yeah, but you have to get fired. So over lunch I just smoke like every last bit of weed I have, and go into his office, and sit down and wait for him to get back. And I don’t remember our conversation but it involved him yelling a lot and me finding it hilarious. Someone told me a few weeks later that it became like, an office legend, how I went out.”

“And then you collected unemployment,” Matt said.

“For two years while Mom and Pop paid me under the table. I wasn’t gonna make what I was making at Hammer with them. And the salary wasn’t even that good. No regrets.”

Matt said between giggles, “Doesn’t Hammer make weapons?”

“They do other stuff! Or they used to do other stuff. I don’t keep up with them.”

“Luke said they make like, really shitty versions of the Iron Man suit,” Foggy said. “He had to fight a guy wearing one. It was just awful. Couldn’t even fly.”

“Maybe if they relaxed their drug policy and didn’t fill up the day with useless meetings they would have some decent engineers,” Theo said. He looked at Matt’s frowning expression. “What is it?”

Matt’s head tilted conspicuously.

“What is it, Lassie?” Foggy said. “Is Timmy trapped in a well?”

“Shut up,” Matt said. “Shit. Shit shit shit.” He stumbled to his feet and grabbed his glasses from the other chair. “I need this.” He took the blanket from the couch behind their backs. “Shit. Be right back.” He started to climb the stars, for which he needed to use the railing to steady himself, and shouted down to them, “Hide the drugs!”

“Oh shit,” Foggy said as Theo shoved his vaporizer pen under the cushion. “I hope that’s not Frank Castle.”

“He anti-drug?”

“No, he’s a fuckin’ murderer,” Foggy said. “I mean, allegedly. Or, not allegedly. He was convicted.”

“And where was this moral objection when we were all giving you shit for taking the case?” Because the family had really piled on Foggy, especially because they had a cousin in the Dogs of War - not one of the ones killed, but it was close enough that he was in hiding.

“We’ve been through this. Everyone facing prosecution is deserving of an adequate defense. It’s the hallmark of our legal system.”

“Fuck you.”

“And Matt really wanted to take the case when the death penalty was on the table.”

“You heard he’s back, right? He was pardoned?”

Foggy poured himself another drink. “I have made an effort to avoid news involving Castle in case the media contacts me. And because he’s scary. But I think Matt knows more about him than he’s saying.”

“That is true of Matt, like, all the time,” Theo said.

“Now you see what I deal with.” Foggy watched as Matt descended the stairs, followed by someone with the blanket around him. “Oh, thank G-d. It’s just some random kid. Matt, what is a random kid doing on your roof?”

“I’m not a kid!” said the very kid-like person covered mostly by the blanket. “Mr. Daredevil - “

“Oh fuck, he is a kid,” Theo said. “He calls you Mr. Daredevil. And he’s wearing footie pajamas.”

“They’re not pajamas,” the kid said. “It’s the suit. It’s a very important suit. Mr. Stark gave it to me.”

“ _Mr. Stark_?” Foggy said, barely controlling his laughter. “What is this kid, twelve?”

“I’m eighteen!” the kid said.

“Try again,” Matt said.

“Seventeen.”

“Lower.”

The kid huffed and said, “Sixteen.”

Matt gave him a thumbs up. “I’m gonna - I’ll get hot things. Hot drinks.” He was trying to hide that he was very stoned. “Peter, introduce yourself.”

“How do you know my real name?!”

“Your suit calls you Peter,” Matt said from the kitchen, which he only got to after bumping into several things.

‘Peter’ looked at Foggy and Theo. “Um, hi. I’m Peter.”

“I’m Foggy. I have a law firm with Matt, who is the guy who, I guess, has his name on Daredevil’s lease?” In other circumstances, he might take this way more seriously, but right now, he couldn’t. “And this my brother, Theo, who’s his, um - “

“- Boyfriend.”

“Really? I thought you weren’t - “

“We’re using the word.”

“Awwww,” Foggy said, then shouted, “Matt, if you break my brother’s heart, we’re breaking up again. Nelson and Murdock is breaking up again and I call Page.”

“How do you know Karen won’t choose me?” Matt called back. If he was intending to light his grill, he was sure having trouble with it. “Someone who knows where my clothes are get Peter something dry!”

Theo took another look of what he could see of Peter’s onesie under the blanket and said, “Holy shit, you’re Spider-man!”

“N-No!”

“Dude, that was the least convincing lie about secret identities I’ve ever heard,” Foggy said. “And I know _Matt_.” He rose to his feet very slowly. “Come on. Let’s get you dry. Your pajamas must be freezing.”

“It’s normally heated,” Peter said. “I got hit by lightning and it knocked a lot of it offline.”

“You got hit by lightning?!?” Matt sounded concerned. Like an adult, for at least the moment where he could get it together to be one. “Do you have parents?”

“Um, I don’t really want to talk about my identity,” Peter said.

“Relax, kid. We’re not going to google you,” Theo said. He also wasn’t too sure how well he could use his phone right now.

Foggy led Peter to Matt’s room and left him there. As soon as the door was shut behind him, they all broke into laughter.

“Oh G-d,” Foggy said. “Oh my fucking G-d, Spider-man’s a kid! Matt, why do you have a kid on your roof?”

“I really think that - that answers your question.”

“Fuck, he has gotta let people know he’s a kid!” Theo said. “Do you know how many people must list him as their Avenger sex-ception?”

“That’s a thing?!?” Matt said, way too loud.

“That’s totally a thing!” Foggy’s voice was raised, too. He barely made it back to the couch. “Um, no offense, but Daredevil isn’t mine.” He pointed at Theo. “You’d better say he’s yours.”

“It wouldn’t be an exception. And - and he’s not an Avenger.” He really wanted his brain to work better than it did right now. “It’s Thor.”

“Matt, you can never meet Thor! You can never introduce him to Thor! That’s not fair to do that to him. Don’t make him leave you for Thor.”

Matt somehow had the tea kettle on, abandoning the stove for the electric one. “Depends if Thor is into it. I mean, if we all were into it - “

“You stop right now!” Foggy screamed. “Whatever you were going to keep saying, I don’t want to hear it! This is my little brother - “

“I’m six years older than you!”

“You’re shorter than me. Matt, seriously, you cannot talk about this. Ever. Or I’m gonna be sick on your floor and if I have to keep talking like this I might be sick anyway.”

Peter stepped out of the bedroom, dressed in sweats that were too long for him and a hoodie. “Are you guys on something?”

This got another round of hysterical laughter from all of them. Matt actually sat down on his kitchen floor next to the counter because he couldn’t contain himself.

“For the record,” Foggy said when he collectd himself, “I am only drunk, like the responsible adult that I am.”

“You started drinking in junior high!” Theo said.

“Because we come from a long line of distinguished alcoholics. And because you gave me that drink, _Theo_.”

“I gave you weed, too, but you were a huge pussy about it.”

“I wasn’t a pussy!” Foggy turned back to Peter. “Don’t do drugs. Your brother will call you a pussy.”

“I don’t have a brother,” Peter said.

“Then you’re good to go,” Theo said. “Hooray!”

Someone had to help Peter out, and Foggy guided him to the couch, putting him between them. “Matt, get up.”

“You wanted me to get this stoned. You specifically said - “

“We wanted to keep him off the streets,” Foggy said to Peter. “He has a tendency to go out when he shouldn’t. What are you doing out? Don’t you have homework?”

“My suit is fried and my web shooters don’t do well in the cold,” Peter explained. “Mr. Daredevil said if I ever got stuck I could come to this address. But I expected it to be - “

“What? Some high-tech industrial laboratory?” Foggy definitely had the best power of speech and the most control over his hysterical laughter. “Sorry, kid. He has a loft with a shitty radiator. And shitty lights. Matt! Half your bulbs are out again!”

“That’s what happens when you leave them on when you go,” Matt said. His electric kettle was going off. “Ah, fuck that’s loud.”

“You like tea, kid?” Theo said, and he was really proud of getting himself together to form a complete question. “You’re too young for coffee.”

“But not for weed and beer?”

“Whiskey,” Foggy corrected. “And no! You can’t have either!” He grabbed the bottle of Jameson and held it close to his chest. “I don’t know what Stark gives you - “

“He won’t even let me have soda.”

This got another round of completely uncontrollable laughter from the three of them, and an intimidated but exasperated look from Peter.

“Okay, okay,” Theo said, trying to pull himself together. He got up from the couch. “Okay. I’ll get you something. I’m an adult.” He had to step over Matt, who was barely in a sitting position on the floor of his kitchen. “I’m so an adult.” He poured a cup of water and got the tea box out, and put them on the table. “Peter, what do you want?”

“I want Thor’s number,” Matt announced. “If he’s into threeways.”

“Matt! Shit!” Foggy said as Theo blushed so hard he thought his face might explode. “None of that! Everything has to be age appropriate.”

“Um, green tea? If you have any?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure we do,” Theo said. It was dark in the kitchen and he had to fumble with the different packets until he could recognize what he was looking for on the third try. “Dude, you gotta tell people you’re underage. Have Stark put out a press release. Shut that Avengers porn down.”

“There’s Avengers porn?” Matt asked. He had explained on previous occasions that he was not a fan of much of it because there wasn’t enough talking and he didn’t want to invite anyone over to narrate.

“Yeah, and now I feel really bad about it!” Theo shouted back before presenting Peter with his tea. “You’re in some of it! It’s really bad.”

“I am?” Matt asked. Theo had an urge to drag him back into the living room.

“Yeah, but the guy is really hairy.”

“No!” Foggy covered his ears, even if it meant letting the bottle fall between the seat cushions. “I don’t want to know about your porn!”

Matt took a deep breath and said, “Peter, if you have Black Widow’s number, I would also be interested.”

“Hey!” Theo said.

“You can be there.”

“Matt! Seriously! PG-13!” Foggy yelled. “Peter is young and impressionable. He shouldn’t be hanging out with Stark.”

“Yeah, because we’re so fucking professional?” Theo said. “You need a job, Peter? I’m hiring. I need another cashier. And I won’t let you work stoned because I’m a fucking hypocrite.”

“Um, I have a job, thanks.”

“Are you paid for it?”

“It’s an internship.”

“Stark has you fighting crime all around the world and you’re not even paid for it? At least I’ll pay you. Fifteen an hour and a sandwich. And it’s gonna be a good sandwich.”

Foggy backed him up. “It’s gonna be a really good sandwich.”

“Um, no thank you?” Peter said. “I appreciate it, but I really like my job.”

“That’s the most important thing,” Theo said. “That you like your job. What do you want to be when you grow up?” He corrected, “I mean, um, what do you want to study in college?”

“Chemical engineering.”

“No shit!” Theo said. “You go to some fancy school for superhero kids?”

“No. And I’m not a kid,” Peter said. “But - it is a charter school with a specialization in STEM.”

“I was really bad with chemicals,” Theo explained. “There wasn’t enough blowing shit up.”

“He loves that stuff. He used to make model rockets and set them off in the park,” Foggy said. “They would land in a tree and catch fire - “

“Not every time!”

“ - and the cops told him to knock it off. Theo, you had so much promise.”

“Fuck you. I was a scientist. It wasn’t my fault it sucked.” He refocused on Peter. “I bet Stark doesn’t make you fill out bullshit cover pages to draft proposals that your boss doesn’t understand.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him hold a real sheet of paper.”

Matt finally managed to get to his feet and wander over, though he had some trouble finding the chair, and had to feel around for it. He had a beer with him, as if _that_ would help him. “Aw, fuck.”

“Should I go?”

“No. No no no,” Matt said. “Peter, you’re welcome here. I’m sorry I’m - um, so fucked up right now. I am not usually this fucked up. You should stay and, um, call your parents? Parent? Let someone know where you are?”

“Probably don’t say you’re with Daredevil and he’s totally stoned,” Foggy said. “There’s three adults here. Between us, that’s like ... one real adult. For supervision. If you need adult supervision. And if you don’t want to stay here, you can go keep Theo’s crazy cat company.”

“She’s not _crazy_ ,” Theo said.

“I like cats,” Peter said.

“Peter, you can stay here,” Matt offered. “I’ve - lost track of where we’re all going, but you can have the bed. Call your ... legal guardian. Of some kind. Call someone.”

“Okay.” Peter did have a phone on him, and stepped back into the bedroom to make a call.

Matt was clearly hoping he wouldn’t have to get on the phone. This was not the time to ask him to make something plausible up on the spur of the moment. Or speak at all and try to sound responsible.

Foggy checked his phone. “Our cousin Andy is texting me. He wants to know why you’re not on the family channel.”

“‘Cuz I have a rule about being on it when I’m high,” Theo explained. “Should I go? I can do the couch math.”

“No!” Matt protested. “You’re my boyfriend. I don’t want you to go. I can’t make you go, that’s - that’s shitty.” He frowned. “I can sleep on the floor. I’ve done it before.”

“Have you intentionally done it before or have you passed out?” Foggy asked.

“Does it make a difference?” Matt turned his head as Peter returned. “Everything cool?”

“Sure. I left out the stuff about the drugs and the booze and she thinks it’s fine and Mr. Stark’s friends are all very responsible.”

This was worth another round of giggles.

“Aww,” Matt said. “I’m never gonna be scary again.”

“I wasn’t scared of you,” Peter said.

“Lie.”

“Don’t treat him like that,” Theo said. “No lie detector stuff. He’s a guest.”

“You can detect lies?” Peter asked Matt.

“Heartbeat,” Matt said, raising his hand. “Spikes.”

“Cool,” was Peter’s unexpected reaction to that. Matt looked pleased.

 

They eventually worked out a sleeping situation. Peter got the bedroom. Foggy slept on the floor after passing out on a nest made of pillows and blankets. Matt and Theo ended up tightly wound up together on the couch, which only fit because they were more or less stacked, with Matt’s hands around Theo’s waist and Matt’s head on his chest. Not the way he’d want to sleep every night, but nice.

Theo’s phone was on silent but the buzzing woke him. He slipped out from under Matt, who always slept well with weed, and answered the phone in the bathroom. His supplier was cancelling due to snow. There was plowing, but not enough for unloading.

When he came out, Peter was up, and probably looking to make his escape. He was still wearing Matt’s clothes. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he replied. “Matt has juice.” He didn’t want to wake anyone with the coffeemaker anyway. He poured Peter a glass. “Um, just so you know, that was not a normal night for us. Foggy got stuck when he couldn’t make it home to Brooklyn, and we figured, you know, no one was going out, so ... “ He shrugged. “Don’t do drugs. And I guess don’t ... tell people Daredevil does drugs? Because he usually doesn’t. A lot of this was my influence.”

“Okay, yeah,” Peter. “He doesn’t - ” and he looked over his shoulder to check if Matt was still sleeping, “- seem like the type. He’s usually like, really intense.”

“I’ve never seen him, you know, be Daredevil but it seems like he would be. And he’s usually _way_ more secretive about personal stuff. So you don’t have to worry about the secret identity thing. He would probably say we’re all accessories to endangering a minor so we would have to plead the Fifth or whatever. And _I_ don’t care who you really are. Unless you want a paying job. Then I need your social security number. Or we could work something out under the table.”

“I really like being Spider-man,” Peter said. “And it’s going to go on my college applications as a Stark internship, so - “

“I get it, it’s the best use of your time.” Theo pulled out his phone. “Where do you live? I’m calling you an Uber.”

“Don’t - I live in Queens. The gunk is cleared out of my shooters so I was just gonna swing my way home.”

It occured to Theo that he didn’t want to know where that ‘gunk’ came from. He handed his phone to Peter with the app open. “Just put your address in. I’ll delete it later if it makes you feel better.”

Peter gave him a hard look for a moment before typing in his address. “Can I pay you back?”

“No. But if you have cash on you, tip the guy. Driving an Uber sucks.”

“I have a little cash for snacks,” Peter explained. “Should we wake - “ He gestured to Matt.

“No, he’s got two jobs and he’s always exhausted. Let him sleep. And I guess - next time you’re in the neighborhood, leave the clothes in a bag on the roof or something.”

“Sure,” Peter said. “And thanks for all this. Please tell Darede - Matt when he wakes up.”

“No problem. Oh, and Matt’s identity is really secret, so be careful with that. Or we’re all going to jail. Seriously.”

“He gave me a speech when he gave me his address,” Peter said. “But yes, I promise.”

“Good.” He showed him to the door. “Do well in school! Study hard!”

“Thanks,” Peter said. He seemed relieved that someone was treating him normally.

When Peter was gone, Theo moved a half-awake Foggy to the bed, where he passed right out again. If anything, it would keep Foggy from complaining about his back all day. Theo rejoined Matt on the couch, even if it involved some acrobatics to get back in and put the blanket over them.

“You were good to Peter,” Matt mumbled. He was awake, if not completely. “You’d make a good dad.”

Theo didn’t know what to do with that. No one had ever said it to him. “Thanks?”

“Is it too early to kick Foggy out?”

“Yeah, definitely. ‘Cuz he’ll know why we’re kicking him out.”

Matt kissed Theo’s chest - or more specifically, his shirt. “So sensible.”

“One of us has to be.”

“I’m just glad,” Matt said, “that you don’t expect it to be me.”

The End


End file.
